Monday, December 19, 2011


A friend of mine died last Friday.  Well, I don't really know if I can call her a friend, because I doubt she considered me the same.  She isolated her self completely.  I don't even know if she had anyone to call a friend.  She was my neighbor though, and there were several times where I would try to invite her over or get myself into her place to chat.  Hell, even to take the trash out together is something I really tried to do, but she wouldn't wait the seconds I needed to grab my trash.  Regardless, the opportunities I had to listen to her sing through the thin walls of my apartment were enough to cause a smirk across my face.

This really is the first time I've recognized death.  It's happened to my grandmother and grandfathers, but never has it been this close to home.  It makes me want to be a little more extroverted.  I'm probably an ass for doing this, but if I had to judge her life, it was too lonely.  I can only hope that she had someone to blossom with.  She was withheld in so many ways it seemed.  Her health was never strong, her charisma was neither her strong point.  She was frail in many ways, but she was always pushing on.  For a person that existed with so much pain...

I don't believe in God, or heaven, so in my perspective, this person is gone forever.   Fuck.  What I would have given to just give her a hug...

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